Monday, May 19, 2008

AND REALLY,

I MISS..
FIDELIO; OPERA
FOXIUQI-MMS
MY PASSWORD IS 123456.
MY VINGCARD PASSWORD IS 1971 (its so hard to rmb i have to rmb it as nineteen seventyone and pretend its an important date)
I KNOW FOJIANHAO-MMS' PASSWORD IS 120687
I KNOW FOTRAIN2-MMS' PASSWORD IS HERMAN (can u believe it i figured that out myself)
PRESS CTRL F2 FOR STH.
PRESS CTRL F3 FOR STH.
SHIFT STH FOR STH..
THE CANTEEN FOOD ISNT EXACTLY THE NICEST OF ALL BUT I LOVE THE NASILEMAK AND THE MEEGORENG AND THE ROTIPRATA WITH SUGAR.


AND I MISS YELAIXIANG SUPER A LOT.

BUT I DONT THINK I MISS WAKING UP EARLY.
AND I DONT THINK I MISS NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND A RSVN AND HAVING TO APPROACH THE ROOM FOR HELP.
OOPS HAHAHAH.


my aim is..
im going to be very patient tomorrow.
hahah.
byee.
(:

illusion-

the thought of death is so frightening, so tormenting..
because,
theres never a resolution to it..
once a conversation like that begins, it never ends..
and its so so disturbing..
and its not actually about what happens after death.

i guess
death would only be frightening to those around the one who gets to experience it first.

it is a temporary parting, i believe it is.
but still, its gonna be real painful..

sometimes,
i would have rather selfish thoughts..

would you rather live without someone,
or let someone live without you?

and i refuse to choose.





but i know it would be much happier there.
i know, because i know.
(:

illusion-

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

my best friend shared this beautiful poem with me, so im here to share it with everyone else..
(:

and i would like to dedicate this to her, pearlenestrawieitikadogiraffeynglijian.
i know it sucks having to wait..
but its true, perhaps having to wait for something would let us appreciate what we get eventually even more..
and please remember that youre not waiting alone..
there are three other animals oinking/ trumpeting/ octying there, waiting for the goodnews, together.
(not forgetting octy's mum too hahah)
LOVE YOU STRAW,
WAITING FOR THEM TO NOTIFY YOU,
WAITING FOR YOU TO CLICK ACCEPT,
WAITING TO GO THERE TOGETHER WITH YOU.
(:


Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

illusion-

Friday, May 09, 2008

finished reading DAMAGED.
its sooooo ......................................................
asdfghjkl.
and mind you, its a true story..
how bad can it get..
shes sevenisheight years old..
ohgosh ohgosh ohgosh.
TO THE PSYCHOTIC PARENTS OUT THERE,
STOP BEING SO GAY AND JUST..
STOP BEING SUCH PSYCHOS.

anyway.
im unemployed.
these few days been tiring, really.
if not out, ive been really watching a lot of video on the com.
the hills is so addictive.

aye to my best friend,
dont get a new best friend ok.
hahahah.

i kind of miss working a little bit.
hahahahh.
okayyy, perhaps just the place and the routine that used to come with it..
BUT NO MORE WAKING UP EARLYYYYY.
THREE CHEERS FOR THAT HEHH(:

tuesday will be my first at csl, i hope.
alittlequiteverykindof scared.
dont exactly know what to expect..
we'll see..(:

and in the meantime..
ntu hasnt got back to me..
hmmm.
hmmm.




*
you got me hoping there,
you got me disappointed..
then you got me hoping again..
secretly, maybe..

illusion-